Read the funniest jokes for kids covering a variety of topics. It’ll have the entire family laughing and giggling non-stop.
Kids love jokes. Whether it’s puns about rocks or jokes about sloths, humor is incredible.
It brings families and friends together and makes you feel better.
Related: The Best Riddles (With Answers) for Kids
The following are the best jokes for kids. They’re easy to remember, clean, and ensure you get giggles.
The best jokes for kids
1. How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
2. An olive fell onto the floor. What did it say when the other olives asked if it was okay?
O-live.
3. Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?
He had to wake up very oily.
4. Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
5. Where’s the best place to find a ghost?
At a dead end.
6. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap.
7. What did the little corn say to its mom?
Where’s popcorn?
8. What did the Dalmatian say after a good meal?
That hit the spot.
9. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
10. What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
11. Why did the computer take medicine?
It had a virus.
12. Why did the pickle have paparazzi?
It was a big dill.
13. How many lips does a flower have?
Tu-lips.
14. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket.
15. Why did the teddy bear stop eating?
It was stuffed.
16. What did the plate say to the other?
Dinner’s on me.
17. Why couldn’t the acute triangle fit?
It wasn’t the right angle.
18. How does a tree go home?
It leaves.
19. Why did the math book go to therapy?
It had too many problems.
Related: Silly Math Jokes
20. How did Elsa lose her balloon?
She let it go.
21. How did the flower get up in the morning?
It rose.
22. What’s black and white and read all over?
The newspaper.
23. How do billboards talk to each other?
With sign language.
24. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
25. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
26. Why did the students eat their homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
27. What color do cats love?
Purr-ple.
28. Why didn’t the dog want to play baseball?
It was a boxer.
29. What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.
30. Why couldn’t the pony sing?
It was a little horse.
31. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
32. Why can’t you tell jokes to an egg?
It’ll crack up.
33. Why do beets always win?
They’re un-beet-able.
34. Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
It was bacon in the sun.
35. Why was the bunny upset?
It was having a bad hare day.
36. What’s the best way to throw a party in space?
You planet.
37. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
38. Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.
39. What do you get when you put ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
40. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a little flushed.
41. Where did the music teacher leave their keys?
In the piano.
42. How do barbers get to work so quickly?
They take shortcuts.
43. What kind of math do birds love?
Owl-gebra.
44. Why are basketball courts always wet?
The players dribble.
45. What kind of fruit do twins like?
Pears.
46. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-toad.
47. What flies around elementary schools at night?
Alpha-bats.
48. What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeño business.
49. What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Doggone it.
50. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze.
51. What kind of shoes do ghosts wear?
Boots.
52. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy birthday!
53. What has ears but can’t hear?
A cornfield.
54. What’s a ghost’s favorite food?
Spook-hetti.
55. What did the farmer call the cow that couldn’t produce milk?
An udder failure.
56. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
57. What kind of milk does a pampered cow produce?
Spoiled milk.
58. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand by itself?
It was two-tired.
59. How do bees get to school?
They take the school buzz.
60. What did the police officer say to their belly button?
You’re under a vest!
61. Why shouldn’t you write with a dull pencil?
It’s pointless.
62. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
63. Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
63. Why are stadiums so cool?
They’re filled with fans.
64. Why was the baby strawberry sad?
Its parents were in a jam.
65. How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the W.
66. How does milk introduce itself in Spanish?
Soy milk.
67. What do you call a dog magician?
Labra-cadabra-dor.
68. Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.
69. What do birds give on Halloween?
Tweets.
70. What do you call monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Prime-mates.
71. How did the plumber compliment the singer?
They said, “Nice pipes!”
72. Why was the snowman looking in a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
73. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
74. What did the janitor say when jumping out of the closet?
Supplies!
75. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put some boogie in it.
76. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
77. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
78. Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long?
Then, it would be a foot.
79. What button can’t you unbutton?
A belly button.
80. Why was the broom late to class?
It over-swept.
81. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
82. How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
83. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
Times Square.
84. What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
85. What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waste of time.
86. What did one eye say to the other?
Between us, something smells.
87. Why are ghosts the worst liars?
You can see right through them.
88. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
89. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?
People are dying to get in.
90. What do you call someone that never farts in public?
A private tutor.
91. Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
92. What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you in the corner.
93. What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.
94. What do you call a pig that knows martial arts?
Pork chop.
95. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
96. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
97. How do scientists freshen their breath?
With experi-mints.
98. What do you call an ant that fights crime?
A vigil-ant-e.
99. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9.
100. How does a mummy start a letter?
Tomb it may concern.
101. What do you call a bee that buzzes quietly?
A mumble-bee.
102. What do you call a sheep that’s not good?
Baaaaad.
103. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on.
104. What do you call a deer without eyes?
No-eye-deer.
105. What do you get when you cross a rolling pin with a stone?
Rock and roll.
106. Why did Darth Vader cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
Related: The Best Star Wars Puns
107. What did the mommy hair say to the baby hair?
Don’t be knotty.
108. What did the fungi say when it moved into its new mansion?
There’s so mushroom.
109. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
110. Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
111. What do you call an avocado that goes to church?
Holy guacamole.
112. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.
113. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during class?
The students were too bright.
114. What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel.
115. What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
A ham-booger.
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- The best dad jokes of all time
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