Have you herd of these cow puns? They’re hilariously amoosing and will steer you in a happy mood. Read the best cow puns ever told.
Cows are gentle giants. They’re intelligent, emotional, and form close friendships.
Related: The Funniest Animal Puns
Also, you’ll see cows or cattle in many shapes, colors, and sizes.
Whether you’re hosting a cow-themed party, visiting a farm, or going on a road trip, cow puns and jokes are perfect for making people laugh.
They’re udderly amazing and hilarious.
Funny cow puns and one-liners
1. I’m going to a cow-medy show.
2. The steaks are high.
3. You have nice dance moo-ves.
4. Cows love to listen to moo-sic at the party.
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5. In one ear and out the udder.
6. I’m not amoosed.
7. I need a cow-culator to figure it out.
8. A sleeping cow is a bulldozer.
9. It’s pasture bedtime.
10. When two cows are ignoring each other, it means they have beef.
11. A cow that’s laying down is ground beef.
12. The surfing cow said, “cowabunga”.
13. Enjoy your cow-fee.
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14. Cows love math, specifically cow-culus.
15. Cows don’t lie because they can smell bull.
16. You can’t see me because I’m wearing cow-moo-flage.
17. Cows love to go to Moo Zealand for vacation.
18. Make sure you seize every moo-ment.
19. Let’s go to the moo-vies.
20. Holy cow!
21. I feel seen, but not herd.
22. I stopped telling cow puns because I kept butchering them.
23. I feel like I’ve heard that cow pun before. It must be deja moo.
24. Betsy the cow isn’t producing milk. There must be an udder problem.
25. Cows only make noise when they’re in the moo-d.
26. If you have leverage, milk it for all it’s worth.
27. Thank you for your cow-operation.
28. We can cow-exist with cattle.
29. What a cow-incidence.
30. That cow has a nice moo-stache.
31. I got a new lawn moo-er to cut the grass.
32. A cow’s favorite math subject is moo-ltiplication.
33. Cows like to cuddle to keep each udder warm and dry.
34. We got a new cow, but I heard it’s an udder cover agent.
35. The leader of the herd is the cow-ptain.
36. Some cow puns are b-udder than udders.
37. The cow wore ca-moo-flauge, so I didn’t see it.
38. A mean cow is also called beef jerky.
39. Should we go to Cow-lifornia or Moo York?
40. It’s hard to hurt a cow’s feelings. Their skin’s as thick as leather.
41. I got the moo-ves like Jagger.
42. I traded my Harley Davidson for a Cow-asaki.
43. Some cows can’t gain weight because they’re grazers.
44. It was a moo-tation.
45. Yes, I udder-stand.
Hilarious cow jokes
1. Why was the cow afraid?
It was a cow-herd.
2. What did the famous cow say to its friends?
I’m legen-dairy.
3. What do you call a cow that leads events?
The cow-rdinator.
4. What do you call a cow that reports news to the herd?
The broad-cow-ster.
5. How did the cow lose its money?
At the cow-sino.
6. How do you make a cow quiet?
Press moo-te.
7. What do you use to pay a cow?
Moo-ney.
8. What camera brand do cows use?
Cow-non.
9. How do cows admit they’re wrong?
Sorry, my mis-steak.
10. What do cows like to do for fun?
They go to the moo-seum.
11. Why do cows go to the gym?
To build moo-scles.
12. How do you make Swiss cheese?
Use milk from a holey cow.
13. Where do cows go for lunch?
The calf-eteria.
14. Where are Russian cows born?
Mos-cow.
15. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
16. What do you get when you cross a rooster and a cow?
Roost beef.
17. What do you call a magic cow?
Moo-dini.
18. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
19. What do you call a royal cow?
Your moo-jesty.
20. What does a dwarf cow produce?
Condensed milk.
21. How do farmers keep track of their cows?
They have a cattle-log.
22. How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha.
23. Where do cows watch videos?
Moo-Tube.
24. What do you call two ducks and a cow?
Quackers and milk.
25. Why did the police officer arrest the cow?
Dis-udderly conduct.
Punny cow names
1. Moo-donna
2. Moo-ley Cyrus
3. Deja moo
4. Winnie the Moo
5. Sir Loin
6. Moo-ana
7. Kim Cow-dashian
8. Moo-lan
9. Moo-gan Freeman
10. Moo-ses
11. Cow-vin
12. Holy Cow
13. Moo-na Lisa
14. Moo-talica
15. Moo-tilda
16. Moo-hammed
17. Cow-nt Dracula
18. Cow-fetti
19. Cow-zilla
20. Bradley Moo-per
21. Alex Moo-gan
22. DJ Cow-led
23. Marilyn Moo-nroe
24. Dr. Moo
25. Cow-stina
26. Udder Theresa
27. Cow-roline
28. Moo-dison
29. Cow-ristopher
30. Ja-cow-b
31. Moo-chelle
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