50+ Best Halloween Jokes


Trick or treat? How about a joke? Read the funniest and best Halloween jokes that’ll have you laughing. It’s spook-tacular.

Jack-o'-lantern under the moon with bats.
Photo courtesy of Canva.

The funniest Halloween jokes

1. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

It didn’t have the guts.

2. How do you fix a broken Jack-O’-Lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

Related: 30+ fang-tastic vampire puns

3. What type of music do mummies listen to?


4. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?

He was a pain in the neck.

Related: 30+ skeleton jokes that’ll tickle your funny bone

5. What do you call witches who share an apartment?


6. What type of shoes do ghosts wear?


7. How do vampires travel?

They ride blood vessels.

Related: 55+ best witch puns that are wickedly amazing

8. What do birds say on Halloween?

Trick or tweet.

9. Who did the monster go to the Halloween party with?

His ghoul-friend.

10. Where do ghosts go on vacation?


Related: 40+ funny car puns

11. Why do mummies work all the time?

They’re afraid to unwind.

12. What kind of monster loves to dance?

The Boogie-man.

13. Why did the Headless Horseman wake up early?

He was trying to get ahead.

14. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party?

It had no body to go with.

Related: 25+ hilarious Irish jokes

15. Why was there so much noise at the cemetery?

There was a lot of coffin.

16. How do skeletons always know what will happen next?

They could feel it in their bones.

17. What do ghosts like to eat?


18. What do you call a chicken that haunts your house?


Related: 40+ best leaf puns

19. What do witches love about words?


20. How do you get rid of demons?

Exorise often.

21. What type of cookies do monsters eat?

Ghoul Scout cookies.

22. Why did the zombie go to the doctor?

It felt rotten.

Related: 40+ best bat puns that’ll have you flying

23. Where do baby ghosts go while their parents are at work?


24. Where do ghosts swim?

The Dead Sea.

25. What kind of cereal do zombies eat?

Rice Creepies.

26. What holiday do vampires celebrate?


27. How do ghosts insult each other?

By telling the other to get a life.

Related: 30+ wooly great sheep puns

28. Where does Dracula keep his money?

The blood bank.

29. What do witches request at a hotel?

Broom service.

30. What do monsters put on their bagels?

Scream cheese.

31. What type of fruit do ghosts love to eat?


Related: 30+ funniest Minion jokes

32. Why do cemeteries have fences?

People are dying to get in.

33. What do ghosts wash their hair with?


34. What happens when you pull an all-nighter on Halloween?

Something dawns on you.

35. What do zombies love to eat?

Brain food.

36. What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs.

Related: 10 best hunger jokes

37. Which monster plays tricks on Halloween?


38. Why did the skeleton quit his job?

His heart wasn’t in it.

39. What do you call a witch that lives on a beach?

A sand-witch.

40. What do you call wood when it gets scared?


41. Why did the ghost get fined?

It was scaring people without a haunting license.

42. Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

43. Why do witches look angry all the time?

They have resting witch face.

Related: 45+ hilarious tool puns

44. Why does a ghost give his girlfriend on their anniversary?

A boo-quet.

45. How do witches stay positive?

By having witchful thinking.

46. What room do ghosts avoid?

The living room.

47. What do ghosts eat for dessert?

I scream.

48. What does a skeleton say before a meal?

Bone appetit.

Related: 40+ ghost puns that are un-boo-lievably good

49. Why are ghosts excellent cheerleaders?

They have a lot of spirit.

50. Where do ghosts buy food?

The ghost-ery store.

51. How can you tell that vampires like baseball?

They turn into a bat.

52. How do ghosts stay safe in a car?

By wearing their sheet belt.

Related posts:

Featured image courtesy of Canva.