25 Best Nut Jokes


There’s a wide variety of nuts, which also comes with many jokes. Read the funniest nut jokes that are appropriate for all ages and places.

A nut in an astronaut helmet.
Photo by David Em and Canva.

Funny nut jokes

1. What do you call a nut that goes to space?

An astro-nut.

2. What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?

I’m going to cashew.

3. How do you befriend a squirrel?

Act like a nut.

4. What kind of nut loves to exercise?

A health nut.

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5. Why are macadamia nuts the best at keeping secrets?

They’re tough to crack.

6. Where does a nut go to get information?

The inter-nut.

7. What’s the one nut that you can’t get to do anything?

Walnuts. They walnut do anything.

8. What does a nut say when you ask it to do something?

Nut now.

9. What do you call a nut at sea?


10. Where does a nut go for fun?


11. How do nuts deal with tough situations?

By staying c-almond collected.

12. How are nuts able to succeed?

They burn the mid-nut oil.

13. How do nuts stay on top of the news?

They have nut-ifications.

14. Why did the nut get bored of doing the same thing every day?

It was mo-nut-onous.

Related: The best riddles with answers for kids and adults

15. If the pistachio can’t do something, which nut can?

The pecan.

16. How does a nut take notes?

By writing in a nut-book.

17. What type of nut has the most carbs?


18. What does a nut sound like when it sneezes?


19. Where do peanuts go for a drink?

The snack bar.

20. What’s it called when nuts get married?

Tying the k-nut.

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21. Why was the nut nervous to speak at the conference?

It was the key-nut speaker.

22. What’s another name for kidney stones?


23. How did the nut increase the volume?

By turning it up a nut-ch.

24. What happened when the peanut kept getting criticized?

It got roasted.

25. What do you call a storm of nuts?

A nut-ural disaster.

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Featured image by David Em and Canva.