Yo mama jokes are classic insults you may have told or received in childhood. For a throwback and laugh, check out the best ones.
Yo mama jokes are also known as maternal insults.
While they’re offensive, it’s a joke. So, treat it as such.
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If you’re ready for a belly laugh and a reminder of your childhood, read the following yo mama jokes.
They’re also perfect to use as a comeback or to win a harsh joke-telling contest.
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Table of Contents
Yo mama so old jokes
1. Yo mama is so old she has a first edition autographed Bible.
2. Yo mama is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
3. Yo mama is so old that her art projects from school are in a cave.
4. Yo mama is so old that she took her driver’s ed test on a Diplodocus.
5. Yo mama is so old that she dreams in black and white.
6. Yo mama is so old that she helped write the Ten Commandments.
7. Yo mama is so old that her first car was a chariot.
8. Yo mama is so old that her social security number is written in Roman numerals.
9. Yo mama is so old that she got sold while she was at the antique store.
10. Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum, the alarm went off.
11. Yo mama is so old that she was the waitress at The Last Supper.
12. Yo mama is so old that she passed away when I told her to act her age.
13. Yo mama is so old that she swam in the Dead Sea when it was sick.
Yo mama so fat jokes
1. Yo mama is so fat that when she told the doctor her weight, he said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
2. Yo mama is so fat that I ran out of gas when I swerved to miss her.
3. Yo mama is so fat that when she went to the beach, the whales started singing, “We are family!”
4. Yo mama is so fat that I started printing a picture of her last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
5. Yo mama is so fat that when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
6. Yo mama is so fat that I missed all the Star Wars movies when she walked past the TV.
7. Yo mama is so fat she takes selfies in panoramic mode.
8. Yo mama is so fat that helicopters land on her when she wears a t-shirt with the letter “H”.
9. Yo mama is so fat that she lowered prices after sitting on Walmart.
10. Yo mama is so fat that she turned a monster truck into a low rider after getting in.
11. Yo mama is so fat that when God said, “Let there be light,” she moved.
12. Yo mama is so fat that she stepped outside, and everyone thought she was a roundabout.
13. Yo mama is so fat that she wears the equator as a belt.
14. Yo mama is so fat her pictures are taken by satellites.
15. Yo mama is so fat that Dora doesn’t have time to explore her.
16. Yo mama is so fat that I had to take a flight to her good side.
17. Yo mama is so fat that she left in high heels and came back in flip-flops.
18. Yo mama is so fat that when she orders a custom fur coat, an entire species goes extinct.
19. Yo mama is so fat that the hippos got jealous at the zoo.
20. Yo mama is so fat that when she went swimming in a black bathing suit, they thought there was an oil spill.
21. Yo mama is so fat that she wakes up in sections.
22. Yo mama is so fat that she’s on both sides of the family.
23. Yo mama is so fat that she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama so ugly jokes
1. Yo mama is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job offer.
2. Yo mama is so ugly that she made blind kids cry.
3. Yo mama is so ugly that the boomerang didn’t come back.
4. Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
5. Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
6. Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
7. Yo mama is so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
8. Yo mama is so ugly that the doctor slapped her parents when she was born.
9. Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.
10. Yo mama is so ugly that she comes with a viewer discretion advised warning.
11. Yo mama is so ugly that she made One Direction go the other way.
12. Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the lights, they turned themselves off for the sake of humanity.
13. Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to the strip club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
14. Yo mama is so ugly that Medusa turned into stone.
15. Yo mama is so ugly that the Terminator said, “I won’t be back.”
16. Yo mama is so ugly that when she went outside, she got arrested for public indecency.
17. Yo mama is so ugly that people dress up as her on Halloween.
Yo mama so stupid jokes
1. Yo mama is so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
2. Yo mama is so stupid she got hit by a parked car.
3. Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the library to check out Facebook.
4. Yo mama is so stupid that when I said Christmas was right around the corner, she looked.
5. Yo mama is so stupid that it took her an hour to cook minute rice.
6. Yo mama is so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a refund.
7. Yo mama is so stupid that she grabbed a bowl when I said it was chilly outside.
8. Yo mama is so stupid that she doesn’t brush her teeth because they don’t have hair.
9. Yo mama is so stupid that she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
10. Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
11. Yo mama is so stupid that she asked for a double cheeseburger and large fries when they said, “Order in the court.”
12. Yo mama is so stupid that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.
13. Yo mama is so stupid that she stared at a bottle of orange juice for three hours because it said “concentrate” on it.
14. Yo mama is so stupid that she turned around and went home after seeing a sign that said, “Disneyland, left.”
15. Yo mama is so stupid that she climbed over a clear glass wall to see what was on the other side.
16. Yo mama is so stupid that brought a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
17. Yo mama is so stupid that she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
18. Yo mama is so stupid that she airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
19. Yo mama is so stupid that when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.
20. Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
21. Yo mama is so stupid that when I told her she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
22. Yo mama is so stupid that she wanted to climb Mountain Dew.
23. Yo mama is so stupid that she put a watch in a piggy bank to save time.
24. Yo mama is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
25. Yo mama is so stupid that she put sugar on her bed to have sweet dreams.
26. Yo mama is so stupid that she spoke inside an envelope to send a voicemail.
27. Yo mama is so stupid that she put a quarter in each ear and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
More funny yo mama jokes
1. Yo mama is so poor that she uses Cheerios as earrings.
2. Yo mama is so poor that the ducks throw her bread.
3. Yo mama is so poor that her cardboard box got foreclosed.
4. Yo mama is so short that she can do backflips under her bed.
5. Yo mama is so hairy that you got a carpet burn when you were born.
6. Yo mama is so short that she has to slam dunk her bus fare.
7. Yo mama is so hot that she makes the sun sweat.
8. Yo mama is so poor that she went on Gmail to eat spam.
9. Yo mama is so poor that she can’t afford to pay attention.
10. Yo mama is so lazy that she stuck her nose out the window to let the wind blow it.
11. Yo mama is so yellow that I can’t believe it’s not butter.
12. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad even the homeless send it back.
13. Yo mama is so confusing that even Scooby Doo can’t figure her out.
14. Yo mama is so mad that even McDonald’s won’t serve her a happy meal.
15. Yo mama is so ashy that every time she rubs her elbows, it snows.
16. Yo mama is so dark that when I clicked on her profile picture I thought my phone died.
17. Yo mama is so scary that the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
18. Yo mama is so short that when she went to see Santa, he told her to get back to work.
19. Yo mama is so clumsy that she tripped over a cordless phone.
20. Yo mama is so tall that she tripped in Canada and hit her head in South America.
21. Yo mama is so rich that her yacht has a yacht.
22. Yo mama is so hairy that when she went to see the Star Wars in the theater, everyone thought Chewbacca made a guest appearance.
23. Yo mama is so skinny that she choked on a grain of rice that went sideways.
24. Yo mama is so hot that the rocks turned into lava when she walked on them.
25. Yo mama is so scary that she has to trick or treat over the phone.
26. Yo mama is so cold that she gives everyone around her frostbite.
27. Yo mama is so loud that she speaks in surround sound.
28. Yo mama is so slow that she came in last in a snail race.
29. Yo mama is so short that people thought she was a moving Funko Pop.
30. Yo mama is so evil that the devil sold his soul to her.
31. Yo mama is so lazy that she woke up from a coma and went back to sleep.
32. Yo mama is so skinny that she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.
33. Yo mama is so bald that when she wore a turtleneck, I thought she was roll-on deodorant.
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Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.