100+ Funny Dark Humor Jokes That Are Twisted and Brutal


Dark humor or black comedy is a form of humor that makes light of any subject without limits. If you’re up for it, read the best dark humor jokes.

Head of a scary clown.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

Dark humor crosses every line imaginable.

The comedic style makes fun of topics that are generally taboo.

It covers death, political corruption, war, sexuality, poverty, and stereotypes.

It goes much further than the classic yo mama jokes.

The official definition has been around for less than a century.

But, the humor style dates back as long as stories have been around.

If you’re ready to laugh harder than ever, then read the following dark humor jokes.

Related: Hilarious Acronyms to Make Everyone Laugh

The best dark humor jokes

1. My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job that I don’t even care.

2. I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.

3. Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. It’s nice to see so many new faces today.

4. A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves and never comes back.

Person walking out the door.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

5. My granddaughter asked me how stars die. I told her, “Usually an overdose.”

6. The only thing worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm is biting into an apple and finding half of a worm.

7. Never break someone’s heart because they only have one. Instead, break their bones because they have 206 of them.

8. I asked Siri why I’m still single. It activated the front camera.

9. I don’t have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.

10. I stopped telling jokes about unemployed people because none of them worked.

11. My grandpa died because we couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept telling us to be positive. It’s tough without him.

12. The person who stole my diary died. My thoughts are with their family.

13. A doctor said to her patient, “I have good news and bad news.” The patient said, “Give me the good news first.” The doctor said, “Your test results are back. You only have two days to live.” The patient asked, “That’s good news? What’s the bad news?” The doctor says, “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

14. Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.

15. Being healthy is just dying as slowly as possible.

16. Cremation is my last hope for a smoking-hot body.

Person flexing their arm muscles.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

17. The best thing about dating a homeless person is you can drop them off anywhere.

18. A nun in a wheelchair is known as virgin mobile.

19. A white man is scarier than a black man in prison because he actually did it.

20. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

21. I asked my girlfriend if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes. The others were at least sevens.”

22. I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words to me. He asked, “Are you still holding the ladder?”

23. As a kid, I was afraid of the dark. Now that I’ve grown up, the electricity bill makes me afraid of the light.

24. I visited my friend who bought a new house. She told me to make myself at home. So, I threw her out. I hate hosting guests.

25. My grandfather lost his tongue during World War II. He never talks about it.

26. I don’t get it. When you donate a kidney, people treat you like a hero. When you donate a dozen, they call the police.

27. In Chicago, someone gets stabbed every minute. I feel bad for that person.

28. You know people don’t like you when you get handed the camera for group photos.

29. My dad and Nemo have one thing in common. They can’t be found.

30. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you won’t get it.

31. I used to have a fish that could breakdance. Only for 20 seconds, and that was the last time.

32. I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.

33. You’re not completely useless because you can serve as a bad example.

34. My grandma said I’m too reliant on technology. So, I told her she was a hypocrite and unplugged her life support.

35. Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

36. You can’t fool an aborted baby. It wasn’t born yesterday.

37. Asians can’t drive well. I’m starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

38. The worst combination of illnesses is Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

39. Cigarettes are good for the environment because they kill people.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

40. I wasn’t close to my father when he died. I’m glad because he stepped on a landmine.

41. Waldo went to therapy to find himself.

42. Did you fall from heaven? Satan did, as well.

43. If you’re afraid of pedophiles, you need to grow up.

44. Where did Jimmy go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

45. People with Covid have no taste.

46. I saw a one-legged hitchhiker. I told him to hop in.

47. Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

48. The old man fell into the well and died because he couldn’t see that well.

49. I felt bad for asking a homeless person if they liked house music.

50. Blind kids and orphans have one thing in common. They can’t see their parents.

51. I surprised a blind person by leaving a plunger in the toilet.

52. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. The worst way to find out you’re adopted.

53. Every zodiac sign has a signature hairstyle except for cancer.

54. There’s safety in numbers. Tell that to six million Jews.

55. Cemeteries are overcrowded. People are dying to get in.

56. I put the fun in funeral.

57. Dads are like boomerangs. I hope.

58. A deaf gynecologist is also known as a lip reader.

59. Stephen Hawking doesn’t do comedy shows. He can’t do stand-up.

60. Pimps and farmers have one thing in common. They need a hoe to stay in business.

61. A man who cries while pleasuring himself is a tearjerker.

62. Sally fell off the swing because she didn’t have arms.

63. A child molester and priest walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

64. An alcoholic and a necrophiliac have one thing in common. They both like to crack open a cold one.

65. My therapist said, “Time heals all wounds.” So, I stabbed him, and now we’re waiting.

66. Orphans prefer the latest iPhones because they don’t have home buttons.

67. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick.

68. A cheap circumcision is a rip-off.

69. I gave a shoutout to my grandma. That’s the only way she could hear me.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

70. I had a crush on my teacher. It was confusing because I was homeschooled.

71. Cannibals don’t eat clowns or comedians because they taste funny.

72. I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was my favorite dog.

73. I love telling jokes about orphans. What? Are they going to tell their parents?

74. The doctor gave me one year to live. So, I shot him. The judge gave me 25 years. Problem solved.

75. The difference between a hockey player and a hippie woman is the hockey player changes his pads after three periods.

76. My friend and I were playing chess. Then, he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So, we stopped playing chess.

77. My grandparents fought during World War II. They ended up getting divorced.

78. My wife said she wants another baby. I’m relieved because I don’t really like our current one.

79. The difference between me and cancer is my dad didn’t beat cancer.

80. Everyone talks about starting a family. But no one talks about finishing what they started.

81. Some black humor jokes are so dark it’s a miracle they haven’t been shot by a cop.

82. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in the car.

83. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

84. My wife and I came to the difficult conclusion that we don’t want children. If anyone does, please send me your address, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

85. The difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman is that you can’t unscrew the pregnant woman.

86. Girls and rocks have one thing in common. The flat ones get skipped.

87. Holy water is made by boiling the hell out of it.

88. I compare my family to treasure. You need a shovel and a map to find them.

89. I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that.

90. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, except at a funeral.

91. I was raised as an only child. I think it was hard for my brother.

92. Friends are like snow. If you pee on them, they disappear.

93. The difference between a knife and my life is that a knife has a point.

94. I have a drinking problem. I can’t afford it.

95. Peanut butter and strippers have one thing in common. They both spread for bread.

96. What do you call a dog without legs? It doesn’t matter, it’s not coming.

97. I childproofed my house, but somehow one got in.

98. A new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I think it’s true because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

99. I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for, but no one has given me a straight answer.

100. I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Person opening a door for someone else.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

101. The execution makes a terrorist joke funny.

102. Jesus Christ may have fed thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two fish, but Adolf Hitler made six million Jews toast.

103. Unless you’re ready for the reaper cushions, don’t challenge death to a pillow fight.

104. How many babies do you need to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw.

Related: The Best Comebacks Ever Told

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.