20+ Funniest Bible Jokes

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If you’re a Christian or have friends that are, you’ll love reading hilarious Bible jokes that are clean and will crack you up.

Hands holding a Bible.
Photo courtesy of Canva.

Hilarious Bible jokes

1. Do you need someone to build an ark?

I Noah guy.

2. What kind of person was Boaz before getting married?

Ruth-less.

3. Who was the shortest person in the Bible?

Knee-high-miah (Nehemiah).

4. How does Moses start his morning?

Hebrews a pot of coffee.

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5. Why doesn’t Jonah trust the ocean?

He knows there’s something fishy about it.

6. Which king in the Bible preferred to do everything alone?

King Solomon.

7. When did Cain forgive his brother?

When he was Abel to.

8. Did Eve have a date with Adam?

No, just an apple.

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9. Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing?

He only had two worms.

10. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve.

11. Who was the best babysitter mentioned in the Bible?

David. He rocked Goliath into a deep sleep.

12. How do angels greet each other?

Halo, halo, halo.

13. Who was the smartest man in the Bible?

Abraham because he knew a Lot.

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14. What type of car does Jesus drive?

A Christ-ler.

15. How did the 12 disciples travel?

By driving a Honda. The Bible says they were all in one Accord.

16. Who was the funniest comedian in the Bible?

Samson because he brought the house down.

17. Who are pastors called in Germany?

German Shepherds.

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18. Which Bible character is a locksmith?

Zacchaeus.

19. Which Bible character didn’t have parents?

Joshua, the son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).

20. What’s the best way to study the Bible?

You Luke into it.

21. Who is the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

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Featured image courtesy of Canva.