Read terrible puns that are so bad they’re amazingly hilarious. They’ll leave you and anyone you read them to laughing so hard.
1. Bad puns. That’s how eye roll.
2. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
3. The picture ended up in jail because it was framed.
4. RIP, boiled water. You’ll be mist.
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5. Olive you.
6. The mechanic slept under the car because he had to wake up oily.
7. The bowling ball told the pin, “you’re right up my alley.”
8. We’re striving for world peas.
9. Cheese is grate.
10. When the grape got crushed, it let out a little wine.
11. You’re a weir-dough.
12. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity, and it’s impossible to put down.
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13. To organize a space party, you must planet ahead.
14. I went to a seafood dance party and pulled a mussel.
15. I won’t get jalapeño business.
16. I’m addicted to brake fluid but don’t worry because I can stop at any time.
17. What’s the big dill?
18. I’ll fix it with my bear hands.
19. Ducks have feathers to cover their butt quacks.
20. I rode an elevator for the first time. It was an uplifting experience.
21. The only thing better than a talking dog is a spelling bee.
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22. Photons never have checked bags because they travel light.
23. Every good pun deserves a re-word.
24. If you ever get in a fight with a clown, go for the juggler.
25. To make holy water, boil the hell out of it.
26. Lettuce eat in peas.
27. What the fork?
28. The wheel couldn’t stop. It was on a roll.
29. Sea monster jokes are always Kraken me up.
30. I used to be a vegetarian. It was a missed steak.
31. I achieve every goal that I set. I’m a goalkeeper.
32. The wedding was emotional. Even the cake was in tiers.
33. Leaf it to me.
34. Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer but a great fall.
35. I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
36. The camping movie was in tents.
37. It takes ten tickles to make an octopus laugh.
38. At the Halloween party, the ghost was with its boo.
39. The best way to watch a fishing tournament is to livestream.
40. Dull pencils are pointless.
41. I need to look for my missing watch, but I can’t find the time.
42. I could really see myself being a mirror inspector.
43. I’m scared of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
44. In school, elves learn the elf-abet.
45. To stop an astronaut’s baby from crying, rocket.
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46. Funny mountains are hill areas.
47. Tornadoes love to play Twister.
48. I sued an airline company for losing my luggage, but I lost my case.
49. 6:30 is the best time on a clock. Hands down.
50. A magic owl is also called Hoodini.
51. I caught my son chewing on an electric cord and had to ground him. He’s currently doing well and conducting himself properly.
52. Skeletons don’t have the guts to do anything.
53. Did you hear about the Italian chef? He pasta-way.
54. I was looking for spider puns, but I couldn’t find any on the web.
55. My teddy bear didn’t want seconds. He was stuffed.
56. To the person that invented zero, thanks for nothing.
57. They were passing out dead batteries free of charge.
58. Do you need an ark? I Noah guy.
59. A hungry clock goes back four seconds.
60. You can dew it!
61. You’re the berry best.
62. We be-lung together.
63. It’s bean amazing.
64. This whiteboard is remarkable.
65. My cat’s feline fine.
66. I won’t be a wafer long.
67. I’m going where snowman has gone before.
68. The only concert that costs 45 cents is a 50 Cent concert that features Nickelback.
69. Adele crossed the road to say hello from the other side.
70. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
71. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
72. The new shovel is groundbreaking.
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73. To court, a lawyer wears a lawsuit.
74. If you’re cold, stand in a corner. It’s always around 90 degrees.
75. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
76. Math is easy as pi.
77. I knew a woman with a taser. She was stunning.
78. Don’t milk a pampered cow. It’s spoiled.
79. My leaf blower doesn’t work. It sucks.
80. A book fell on me. I only have my-shelf to blame.
81. An indecisive bee is a maybe.
82. The banana went to the doctor because it wasn’t peeling well.
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83. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
84. I’m no longer going to that massage spa because they rubbed me the wrong way.
85. The king’s army was tired because it had too many sleepless knights.
86. A happy farmer is also known as a jolly rancher.
87. Planets listen to Nep-tunes.
88. You can’t trust a cheetah. It might be lion.
89. When the beaver swam into the wall, it said, “dam.”
90. I’m going to the moo-vies.
91. Whale, whale, whale.
92. I lost my contact lenses. I should’ve kept an eye on them.
93. Fan-cy ceiling you here.
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94. The bullet didn’t go to work because it was fired.
95. This morning, I woke up. It was an eye-opening experience.
96. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually, it’s a wrap.
97. I’m just curry-ous.
98. Never trust a statistician because they’re always plotting something.
99. An alligator in a vest is called an investigator.
100. Volcanoes are easy to get along with. They lava-ryone.
101. These are tearable puns.
102. To find his wife, the farmer tractor down.
103. I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.
104. Water you up to?
105. Honey, what are you bee-combing?
106. I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
107. Don’t talk to a mathematician about infinity. They can talk about it forever.
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Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.
About David Em
David Em is the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life.