60+ Anti-Jokes So Unfunny They’re Hilarious


Anti-jokes or anti-humor is about giving the unexpected. It stumps the person listening. Read the best anti-jokes that are unfunny but funny.

Rather than having a punchline, anti-jokes make you laugh because you don’t expect them.

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It’s a different kind of humor because you expect something hilarious, but it’s not funny.

The fact that it’s unfunny can make it hilarious.

The following are the best anti-jokes. You won’t be able to hold yourself back from laughing.

Related: The Best Travel Puns to Share

Person laughing.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

The best anti-jokes of all time

1. Where was the Constitution signed?

At the bottom.

2. What would happen if every human stood in a single file line around the equator?

Most of them would drown.

3. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

4. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?

A sentence.

5. What did the plumber say when he misplaced his wrench?

Where’s my wrench?

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

6. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

7. How do you make an electrician cry?

Put him in an electric chair.

8. What’s green and smells like red paint?

Green paint.

9. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A deer.

10. What happens every 60 seconds?

A minute passes.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

11. Do you want to hear something that’ll make you smile?

Your facial muscles.

12. What did one stranger say to the other?

Nothing because they don’t know each other.

13. What did one Chinese person say to the other?

I don’t know because I don’t speak Chinese.

14. What happened when a girl invited me to her house saying nobody was home?

Nobody was home.

15. How are people like drums?

Hit them with a stick, and they make noise.

Related: The Funniest Music Puns

16. What happened after Mary had a little lamb?

The doctor fainted.

17. Guess what I saw today?

Everything I looked at.

18. If you’re looking for the best anti-jokes, here are my favorite ones.

One, uno, un, ek, een, and yksi.

19. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

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20. What do you call a fly without wings?

A fly. The irony is unfortunate, but the name doesn’t change.

21. What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A flying brick.

22. What did seven say to nine?

Nothing because numbers don’t talk.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

23. What’s the funniest anti-joke?

Not this one.

24. What started after 2019?


25. Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands?

It’s extinct.

Related: Roar-some Dinosaur Puns

26. What would happen if you took all the veins from your body and laid them end-to-end?

You’d die.

27. Why can’t you ever see an elephant hiding behind a tree?

Because they’re so good at it.

28. How tall is the Eiffel Tower?

One Eiffel Tower tall.

29. Why did the chicken cross the road?

No one knows.

30. Why did I stay home instead of going to the party?

I wasn’t invited.

31. If you’re inside, how can you tell it’s snowing?

Look outside.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

32. Why didn’t the man’s son call him dad?

He always calls him “papa”.

33. The universe is at least seven trillion light-years across.

That’s larger than two football fields.

34. What do you call a printer that doesn’t print anything?


35. What never came again after 1995?


36. What happens when a child walks into a bar?

They start crying.

37. How many apples can you pick from an apple tree?

All of them.

38. Why did Janice go to the restaurant?

She was hungry.

39. Why did Billy break his piggy bank?

To get the money.

40. What happens when you cut down a tree?

It falls down.

41. How do you raise a child?

You lift them up.

42. What are the two types of people in this world?

Dead or alive.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

43. What do you call someone who flies to the moon?

An astronaut.

44. Why don’t you put toast in water?

It’ll get soggy.

45. How do you empty a pool full of Germans?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

46. What’s orange and tastes like an orange?

An orange.

47. What do a dog and a laser beam have in common?

Not much.

48. What happened to the lost child when they arrived home?

They were no longer lost.

49. What would happen if you tried to shave a gorilla at the zoo?

They’d kick you out.

50. What did the surgeon say when the patient said he couldn’t feel his legs?

I know. I amputated your arms.

51. You know what they say?


52. You know what they think?


53. You know what they do?


54. What happens when you fill your shoes with water?

They get wet.

55. How do you make antifreeze?

Take away her blanket.

56. How do you confuse someone?

Paint yourself green and throw napkins at them.

57. How do you know it’s cold outside?

You go outside, and it’s cold.

58. What did the pirate do before burying the treasure?

The pirate dug a hole.

59. How do you know she’s a gold digger?

She moved to California in 1948.

60. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

This ain’t my first rodeo.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

61. Take your age and add five to it.

That’s your age in five years.

62. What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.

63. How many pears grow on a tree?

All of them.

Related: The Best Chuck Norris Jokes

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.