15+ Best Bar Jokes


If you’re heading to a bar and need a good laugh, read the funniest bar jokes that you’ll want to remember to share.

Stools at a bar.
Photo courtesy of Canva.

Hilarious bar jokes

1. What happened when the man walked into a bar?

He said, “ouch.”

2. Why did the bartender give the Roman two beers when he asked for five?

The Roman held up two fingers.

3. Why can’t jumper cables go to bars?

They keep starting things.

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4. What happened when the past, present, and future walked into a bar?

It was tense.

5. What happened when the blind man walked into a bar?

He also walked into a table and a door.

6. Why wasn’t the five-dollar bill allowed in the bar?

They said it was a singles bar.

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7. What did the mushroom say when he got kicked out of the bar?

But I’m a fun guy.

8. What do you call someone who has had too much to drink?

A cab.

9. What does the bartender say to a neutron when it asks for the cost of a drink?

For you, no charge.

10. Why wasn’t A-flat allowed into the bar?

They don’t serve minors.

11. What did the bartender say when a sandwich walked into the bar?

Sorry, we don’t serve food here.

Related: 40+ best sandwich puns

12. What did the bartender say to the tennis ball?

Have you been served?

13. What did an amnesiac ask the beautiful woman at the bar?

So, do I come here often?

14. What did the man say when he walked into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under one arm?

One beer, please, and one for the road.

15. What does the person with authority do at a bar?

They order everyone around.

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16. What did the bartender say to the chameleon?

If your wife walks in, I’ll say I didn’t see you.

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Featured image courtesy of Canva.