50+ Funny Irish Blessings and Sayings to Make You Laugh

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Ireland is home to many sarcastic and humorous sayings. Also, no subject is off-limits. Read the funny Irish blessings for a good laugh.

Leprechaun and Ireland flag.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

Ireland has beautiful landscapes, music, and world-famous pubs. It’s also Europe’s second-largest island.

The Irish people also have quite a sense of humor. You’ll find out in the Irish blessings and sayings.

Irish blessings are essential for celebrations. Many are thoughtful and emotional, but some are hilarious.

Read the following funny Irish blessings for a good laugh. They’re also perfect for St. Patrick’s Day or a note to an Irish friend.

Funny Irish blessings and sayings

1. If you’re lucky enough to be Irish. You’re lucky enough.

2. Quit acting the maggot (It means stop being up to no good).

3. In heaven, there’s no beer. That’s why we drink ours here.

Mug of beer.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

4. May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my grandmother’s teeth.

5. I’m Irish and Catholic. See my picture in the dictionary next to the word “guilt.”

6. A lock is better than suspicion.

7. A silent mouth is melodious.

8. You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

9. Who keeps his tongue, keeps his friends.

10. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.

Irish coffee.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

11. A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.

12. May you live long, die happy, and rate a mansion in heaven.

13. Put silk on a goat, and it’s still a goat.

14. St. Patrick was a gentleman. Who, through strategy and stealth, drove all the snakes from Ireland. Here’s toasting to his health. But not too many toastings. Lest you lose yourself and then forget the good St. Patrick and see all those snakes again.

15. Don’t bid the devil good day till you meet him.

16. There’s nothing so bad that it couldn’t be worse.

17. What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.

18. An old Irish recipe for longevity. Leave the table hungry. Leave the bed sleepy. Leave the bar thirsty.

19. May the ten toes of your feet steer you clear of all misfortune.

20. May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.

21. May you live to be a hundred years with one extra year to repent.

Three clovers.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

22. Here’s that we may always have a clean shirt, a clean conscience, and a punt in our pocket.

23. Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege.

24. A friend’s eye is a good mirror.

25. Experience is the comb that life gives a bald man.

26. Though honey is sweet, don’t lick it off a briar.

27. May the grass grow long on the road to hell for want of use.

28. Here’s to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold pint and another one!

29. Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord, and it makes you miss him.

30. The reason the Irish are always fighting each other is they have no other worthy opponents.

31. There are only two kinds of people in the world, the Irish and those who wish they were.

32. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

33. Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.

34. You must take the small potato with the big potato.

35. Every man is sociable until a cow invades his garden.

36. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we friends gathered below never fall out.

37. It is not a secret if it is known by three people.

38. When a twig grows hard, it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak.

39. May I see you grey and combing your children’s hair.

40. Here’s to eyes in your heads and none in your spuds.

41. I complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

42. A drink precedes a story.

43. Here’s to the health of your enemies’ enemies.

44. An Irish method for tackling problems. There comes a time when you must take the bull by the tail and face the situation squarely.

45. This isn’t a hangover. It’s the Irish flu.

46. May the good Lord take a liking to you, but not too soon.

47. There are good ships and wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be.

48. Will you have mineral (It means will you have a drink)?

49. Every dog is bold in his own doorway.

50. Here’s to our wives, and here’s to our sweethearts. May the two never meet!

Irish woman.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

51. Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.

52. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

53. Don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

Related: Clever and Hilarious Acronyms

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.

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About David Em

David Em is the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life.