60+ Funny Monday Jokes to Start Your Week


Monday is the first day of the week. Whether going to work or school, laugh with the funniest Monday jokes to get you through the day.

Monday text.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

Monday’s the beginning of the work and school week.

The International Organization for Standardization sets it as the start of a week.

But you might also consider Sunday evening as the start of Monday.

It’s a day you need a lot of coffee and motivation to get up.

Laughter is an excellent way to boost your mood and get you through the first day of the week.

The following are Monday jokes to make you laugh. After reading them, you can share them with others to spread joy.

Monday jokes to laugh your way through the week

1. What do you call a person who’s happy on Mondays?


2. Who wins in a fight between Sunday and Monday?

Sunday because Monday is a weekday.

3. Where does Monday come before Sunday?

A dictionary.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

4. Why shouldn’t you be sad about it being Monday?

It was a sadder day 48 hours ago.

5. What’s the worst way to spend a seventh of your life?


6. What do shellfish say at the beginning of each week?

Oh crab, it’s Monday.

7. What’s the best part of Monday?

The end.

8. What kind of movie would Monday be?

A long and boring one.

9. Why’s Tuesday the best day of the week?

It’s the furthest from next Monday.

10. How does Monday feel like a day in Venus?

They both last 5,832 hours.

11. What’s the worst sound on a Monday?

The alarm clock.

12. What do you call Mondays without meetings?

Meetless Mondays.

13. What did the walnut say at the beginning of the week?

Mondays drive me nuts.

14. Why was the candy excited to go to school on Monday?

It wanted to become a Smartie.

15. What’s worse than Friday the 13th?

Monday the 16th.

16. Why did the calendar factory employee go to prison?

They were Monday laundering.

17. What does an executioner say on Monday morning?

It’s time to beheaded to work.

18. How is Monday like a math problem?

Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.

19. What does the calendar say after Monday and Tuesday?


20. What’s worse than a rainy Friday?

A sunny Monday.

21. Why didn’t the zombie go to school on Monday?

It was feeling rotten.

22. How do you make time fly on Monday?

Throw a clock.

23. What did one cheese say to the other on Monday?

Have a gouda week.

24. Why do you have to go to work on Mondays?

It’s Monday-tory.

Monday calendar entry.
Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

25. What advice do you give someone dreading Monday?

Take it Monday at a time.

26. What’s an astronaut’s favorite day of the week?


27. Why do Mondays suck?

They’re punishments for what you did over the weekend.

28. What’s the bright side of Monday?

It only happens once a week.

29. What’s the most depressing part of the week?

Monday mourning.

30. When’s the jousting tournament?

Monday knight.

31. Why was the broom late for work on Monday?

It over-swept.

32. Which word perfectly describes Monday?


33. Which day makes werewolves howl?


34. When do robotic parts go on sale?

Cyborg Monday.

35. Why do employees look sleepy on Mondays?

They’re starting the work weak.

36. What did the calendar manufacturer do after creating an entry for Monday?

They called it a day.

37. What did the cyclops say on Monday morning?

Eye don’t want to get up.

38. How do you live the dream on Monday?

Keep sleeping.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

39. How do hens feel on Monday?


40. Why didn’t the cat go to school on Monday?

It wasn’t feline well.

41. Why don’t skeletons laugh at Monday jokes?

They don’t find them humerus.

42. Which citrus fruit should you eat to start the week well?

A Monday-rin orange.

43. What do you call it when someone gives tips on Monday?


44. When do jewelry stores sell the most items?


45. What kind of music is most popular on Monday?

Instru-Monday-l music.

46. Why was the acid rude on Monday?

It was a-mean-o acid.

47. Why should stores pass out candy canes on Monday?

Everyone needs encourage-mint.

48. When can’t people think clearly?


Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

49. Why do pirate kids love going to school on Monday?

They’re excited for arrr-t class.

50. Which day of the week is demons that most exhausted?


51. Why was the root vegetable an outlier on Monday?

It was up-beet.

52. Why doesn’t Gordon Ramsey like WWE on Monday nights?

It’s RAW.

53. Where can you visit to feel better on a Monday?

Monday Carlo.

54. What should come with all Mondays?

A gift receipt.

55. What do you call it when you feel like you’ve experienced this Monday before?

Mon-déjà vu.

56. Why was the employee excited for work to be over on Monday?

They had a Mon-date.

57. What do cats call the beginning of the week?


58. What always ruins a good weekend?


59. Why was the tortilla chip sad at the start of the week?

It had a queso the Mondays.

Photo by David Em/Box of Puns.

60. What did the lentil say on Monday?

I can’t wait lentil it’s over.

61. What did the pinto bean say at lunchtime on Monday?

It’s bean a long day.

62. How can Mondays improve?

Make it optional.

Related: Cinco de Mayo Jokes

Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.