Tuesday is the second day of the week, following Monday. Read the funniest Tuesday jokes to get you through the day with laughter.
Tuesday is the day between Monday and Wednesday.
It originates from the Old English word, Tiwesdæg, and Tyr, the Norse god of war.
Tuesday is also Mars Day. The planet’s red color symbolizes aggression. So, ancient Babylonians saw the name fitting.
Today, it’s the second day of the work and school week.
Get through the day with laughter by reading the following Tuesday jokes.
Hilarious Tuesday jokes
1. What’s so special about the 22nd of each month?
It’s two’s day.
2. What does the calendar say after Monday and Tuesday?
WTF.
3. Why are Saturday and Sunday stronger than Tuesday?
Tuesday’s a weak-day.
4. What’s a dentist’s favorite day of the week?
Tooths-day.
5. What day of the week do you dress like a ballerina?
Tutus-day.
6. What day’s the best for giving a dog a bone?
Chews-day.
7. On what day of the week do most tennis games tie at 40-all?
Deuce-day.
8. What’s the best day of the week to listen to music?
Tunes-day.
9. What’s the bright side of Tuesday?
It only happens once a week.
10. What’s a handyman’s favorite day of the week?
Tools-day.
11. When do stores sell the most tea?
On Teas-day.
12. What’s the scariest day of the week?
Boos-day.
13. What’s a lawyer’s favorite day of the week?
Sue-sday.
14. What do you call a person who’s happy on Tuesday?
Unemployed.
15. How do you keep the dreams alive on Tuesday?
Hit the snooze button.
16. How do you make time fly on a Tuesday?
Throw a clock.
17. What’s a golfer’s favorite day of the week?
Tee-sday.
18. Why are 1 and 3 jealous of 2?
It’s two’s day.
19. What can ruin your Friday?
Finding out it’s only Tuesday.
20. Why was the computer late for work on Tuesday?
It had a hard drive.
21. Why do most employees at the canned juice factory get fired on Tuesday?
They can’t concentrate.
22. What did the ocean say to the beach on Tuesday?
Nothing. It just waved.
23. What’s a liar’s least favorite day?
Truths-day.
24. What’s the best day of the week to make decisions?
Choose-day.
25. What’s a frat boy’s favorite day of the week?
Dudes-day.
26. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on Tuesday?
It was two-tired.
27. When’s the best day to watch cartoons?
Toons-day.
28. What day of the week do most people pay bills?
Due-sday.
29. Why was Taco Tuesday created?
To give you something to taco-bout the whole week.
30. What’s a bread’s least favorite day?
Toast-day.
31. What comes after Taco Tuesday?
Taco Toots Day.
32. What’s the best thing about Tuesday?
It’s the farthest from Monday.
33. What’s a foot’s favorite day?
Toes-day.
34. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school on Tuesday?
Everything’s fine. The kid woke up.
35. Why did the football coach go to the bank on Tuesday?
To get a quarterback.
36. Did you hear about the construction joke that began on Tuesday?
They’re still working on it.
37. Why do stadiums get hot on Tuesday after a Monday night game?
The fans left.
38. Why don’t skeletons laugh at Tuesday jokes?
They don’t find them humerus.
39. What’s a female’s sheep favorite day of the week?
T-ewe-sday.
40. What did the executioner say on Tuesday morning?
It’s time to beheaded to work.
41. What do cows do on Tuesday night?
They go to the moo-vies.
42. What should you do to protect bagels on Tuesday?
Lox them up.
43. What’s the worst sport to play on Tuesday?
Bad-minton.
44. Why do pirates buy ships on Tuesdays?
That’s when they’re on sail.
45. Did you hear about the employee that left work early on Tuesday?
Their boss told them to have a good day.
46. Why did the drum go to sleep early on Tuesday?
It was beat.
47. When’s the best day to stay in a French castle?
Chateau-sday.
48. Why did the computer wake up on Tuesday with a cold?
It left a window open.
49. How does showing up on Tuesday show strength?
You survived Monday.
50. What’s another name for Tuesday?
Monday #2.
51. When’s the best day to go on a vacation on a ship?
Cruise-day.
52. Did you hear about the boiling water that passed away on Tuesday?
It’ll be mist.
Related: Hilarious Spring Puns
Featured image by David Em/Box of Puns.