Whether you want to make your partner laugh or read funny sayings about previous lovers, check out the best relationship jokes.
Hilarious relationship jokes
1. My partner asked to play doctor…
So, I kept her waiting outside the bedroom for an hour.
2. Why should you marry a goalie?
He’s a keeper.
3. You’re like dandruff…
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get you out of my head.
4. What kind of ship has two mates and no captain?
A relationship.
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5. How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend?
By giving her a ring.
6. Why is marriage a 3-ring circus?
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
7. What do you say when your ex says, “you’ll never find anyone like me”?
That’s the point.
8. Did you hear about the woman that had 20 years of happy marriage?
She only used up four husbands.
9. Why is marriage important for men?
Without it, they’d go through life thinking they had no faults.
10. Why is it good to find a man with confidence?
Without it, there’s nothing left to destroy.
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11. My wife takes the stairs, and I take the elevator…
I guess we were raised differently.
12. How is arguing with your partner similar to trying to read the Terms of Use or Privacy Policy on the web?
Eventually, you give up and agree.
13. My wife apologized for the first time ever today…
She said she’s sorry she ever married me.
14. What happened when the two vampires met?
It was love at first bite.
15. What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, and marriage opens your eyes.
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16. My wife and I decided that we don’t want to have kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to set up a time to drop them off.
17. My partner told me I was rude for yawning while we argued.
I told them I wasn’t yawning. I thought it was my turn to speak.
18. Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player?
Love means nothing to them.
19. The shortest sentence, “I am.”
The longest sentence, “I do.”
20. What’s the best way to remind your wife who’s in charge?
Hold up a mirror to her face.
21. I always get the last word when arguing with my wife.
Usually, it’s, “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
22. My wife and I always compromise.
I admit when I’m wrong, and she agrees.
23. I told my girlfriend that she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
24. Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
They’ll dessert you.
25. My partner told me I’m the cheapest person they ever met.
I’m not buying it.
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26. What’s the best way to get your husband to do something?
Tell him he’s too old to do it.
27. What’s the best way to remember your wedding anniversary?
Forget it once.
28. My girlfriend dated a clown before she met me.
I have big shoes to fill.
29. Never laugh at your partner’s choices.
You’re one of them.
30. Why shouldn’t you ask which one when your partner says you have the body of a god?
It might be Buddha.
31. If he doesn’t appreciate you.
Let that mango.
32. My partner says I don’t listen.
Or something like that.
33. What do you call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts.
34. Relationships are like algebra.
You look at your X and wonder Y.
35. Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it’s February 14th.
36. What do you call people falling in love on a boat?
A row-mance.
37. My partner and I laugh about how competitive we are.
But, I laugh more.
38. My partner and I had a long conversation after our Wi-Fi lost connection.
They seem nice.
39. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.
She hit the roof.
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40. Do you know why I haven’t talked to my partner in 10 years?
I didn’t want to interrupt them.
41. Why did the baseball player have trouble dating?
He couldn’t get to first base.
42. What does a baker say to their partner?
I knead you.
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