35+ Soccer Puns That You’ll Get a Kick Out Of


Whether you play soccer, are going to a match, or sharing on social media, read the funniest soccer puns that’ll have everyone laughing.

Person wearing cleats stepping on a soccer ball.
Photo courtesy of Canva.

Hilarious soccer puns

1. My new girlfriend’s a goalie. She’s definitely a keeper.

2. You’ll always feel safe around soccer players, especially a defender.

3. To achieve a lot of goals, you must be forward.

4. Ghosts will only play one soccer position, the ghoul-ie.

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5. Soccer players avoid one type of tea, a penal-tea.

6. Watch where you’re going. You almost header.

7. I’m going to be forward and say that I’m goal-oriented.

8. I got a kick out of it.

9. Goalies don’t wear bulletproof vests because they block the shot.

10. It’s too Messi.

11. The doctor said not to worry because it’s just assist.

12. Lifeguards are great goalies because they’re good at saves.

13. I’m kicking off the day well.

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14. Turn up the volley-ume.

15. I’m a soccer for you.

16. The ball quit because it was tired of being pushed around.

17. Of cross you did.

18. I’ll pass.

19. I wondered why the ball stopped. Then I realized it was a trap.

20. You need a soccer match to light up a soccer stadium.

21. The soccer ball was wet because the players dribble.

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22. During the holidays, referees send yellow cards to the players.

23. Throw-in the towel.

24. The best state to get a soccer uniform is New Jersey.

25. After getting a goal, the bumble bee said, “hive scored.”

26. Don’t play soccer with pigs because they hog the ball.

27. Santa has a coal-keeper.

28. On a soccer player’s birthday, never give them a red card.

29. When you go hunting for puns, it’s called a punt.

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30. Handball of them to me.

31. Don’t play soccer in the jungle. There are too many cheetahs.

32. Soccer stadiums are cool because there are a lot of fans.

33. The soccer field became a triangle after someone took a corner.

34. Soccer players are smart because they know how to use their heads.

35. When a dinosaur kicks a goal, it’s called a dino-score.

36. Cinderella was kicked off of the soccer team because she kept running from the ball.

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Featured image courtesy of Canva.