Whether you’re a nurse or want to make one laugh, read the funniest nurse jokes that’ll leave everyone cracking up.
Funny nurse jokes
1. Why are nurses afraid of hiking?
There’s too much poison IV.
2. How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They tell a nursing student to do it.
3. Do you know what the statistics are for injections?
9 out of 10 are in vein.
4. Why did the nurse need a red crayon?
To draw blood.
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5. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
HIPAA.
HIPAA who?
I can’t tell you that.
6. The nurse told the doctor, “there’s a man in the waiting room who thinks he’s invisible.”
The doctor says, “tell him that I can’t see him.”
7. Do you know why the nurse smiled when things went wrong?
She was off-duty.
8. What’s it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?
A mid-wife crisis.
9. What did the forgetful nurse say?
I have a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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10. You must be a premature ventricular contraction.
Because you make my heart skip a beat.
11. The doctor asked the nurse, “did you take the patient’s temperature?”
The nurse replied, “no, is it missing?”
12. How do you know when a nurse is having a bad day?
They won’t stop needling people.
13. Do you know why nurses quietly walk past the medicine cabinet?
So, they won’t wake up the sleeping pills.
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14. Why should you always be kind to nurses?
They choose the size of your catheter.
15. The young nurse was nervous about vaccinating me, as it was her first time.
I told her to give it her best shot.
16. What did the nurse say to the patient who injured his entire left side?
Don’t worry. You’re all right now.
17. Why didn’t the nurse laugh at jokes?
He had an irony deficiency.
18. What did the nurse say to the tonsil?
You should get dressed because the doctor is taking you out.
19. You must be aphasia.
Because you left me speechless.
20. Did you hear about the nurse who died and went to hell?
It took her a month to realize she wasn’t at work.
21. What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste.
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Featured image courtesy of Canva.