14 Funny Diet Jokes


Diets can be tense and stressful. Lighten things up by reading the funniest diet jokes. It’ll be more enjoyable.

Vegetables and a measuring tape.
Photo courtesy of Canva.

Hilarious diet jokes

1. Why did the dietitian send her client to the paint store?

To get thinner.

2. Have you heard of the seafood diet?

You see food and eat it.

3. What do you lose after dieting for 2 weeks?

14 days.

4. What do you call someone who can’t stick to a diet?

A desserter.

Related: 10 best food riddles

5. Why shouldn’t you worry about gaining weight?

The heavier you are, the harder you’ll be to get kidnapped.

6. What kind of diet causes you to lose weight by spending time with your family?


7. How can you tell that your body doesn’t like dieting?

Your stomach growls when you eat.

8. I’m on the miracle diet.

If I lose any weight, it’s a miracle.

9. Have you heard of the diet where you put on mittens?

It’s called inter-mitten fasting.

10. Why didn’t the Keto diet work for me?

I thought ta-keto-s counted.

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11. How can you guarantee weight loss when dieting?

Lay on your back and hold the scale with your feet.

12. What’s the toughest part of dieting?

Watching other people eat.

13. What do you call a collection of diet jokes?

A binge of jokes.

14. Did you hear about the dieting clock?

It didn’t work because it kept going back four seconds.

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Featured image courtesy of Canva.